Travellin'

Im venturing home for the 4th of July. Traveling for me is a brutal and rigorous process, mainly because of my self imposed OCD and germapohobia.
Phase 1: The trip from my apartment to the airport via the el.
I do not sit on the train or the bus. I refuse. Who KNOWS what creatures have sat in the seats prior to me and what bodily fluids have leaked out of their body. In addition to this, the edges of the seats are lined in crust and bacterium. SO theres the whole procedure of leaning upon the side of the train and preventing any part of said train from touching my body. The CTA is gross, I could go on and on ( people dying, pooping, peeing, eating chicken wings, spitting, vomiting aboard trains and busses) but I choose not to because I might vom thinking about it.
Phase 2: The airport/security process
So theres this whole business with removing ones shoes and stepping on the germ infested ground barefoot. E to the WWW. EWW. Gross. Who KNOWS what fungus and mildew is crumbling from peoples feet. Also, the filthy, horrid plastic trays that one is forced to put their belongings in. I refuse. I was going through security, content with allowing my laptop to pass through the x-rays on the belt with no tray. The security guy forced me to put it in a tray. I reluctantly pick up the tray. A big black hair has made its home in the tray. My computer refuses to bunk with this disgusting strand of hair. I have to search through the trays until I can find a somewhat presentable specimen.
Phase 3: The whole communal thing
The very fact that thousands of people stream through the airport daily and we are all forced to share tables, chairs, toilets, etc is so so nasty. Ewww. I refuse to sit in the chairs that are provided for your wait in the terminal. Have you ever looked at them? So filthy. Crust galore. Also, there is always a stinky, crying baby. Babies are fine (sometimes) but when they cry and carry on in public they deserve to be shaken profusely. Also, do not get me started on the bathrooms.
Phase 4: The actual air travel
People are gross. End of story.