cawl me

So a while back, around Christmas time to be exact, I once again found myself surrounded by friends ( Lisa, Matt, Diana) and relatives (Janie) in a studio apartment in the Gold Coast ( R.I.P). A flurry of snow was falling outside and we lacked the desire to leave the confines of the 3 x 3 box that was Lisa's apartment. Boredom struck. We did what any reasonable person does when they have nothing better to do : Prank Calls.
Let me clarify before I go on any further though. Prank calls are absolutely not immature. There is nothing funnier in this world than witnessing an unsuspecting voice on the other end of the phone when they are faced with bizzarre situations. For example : calling a foreign 7-11 clerk and asking if they have anything to remove blood from fabric, any ducktape, and any large plastic bags, big enough to fit a human body. In highschool my friend Alon would call the parents of people he hated and have them give messages to their sons or daughters. Example: "Yo wuddup Mrs. Irwin....tell Christina that I got her dime bag of shit and that she owes me $40 bucks for this shit. Tell her it's nice and fluffy, not all mids like last time."
Another good one (compliments of Matt) is to call someone (my roomate, freshman year) and tell her that you are calling from the OBGYN and that her pregnancy test results are in , and yes she is in fact pregnant (true story. My roomate accepted the news stoically. Ummm.....).
Prank calls are a guranteed good time all around, granted the person on the other line is fun loving and enjoys talking with psychos. A perfect example of this takes us back to that cold, winter night. There we were, when one of us conceived the brilliant idea to call American Apparel. Because it was around 11 in Chicago we called an American Apparel in Santa Monica, CA instead. I was the one who was deemed fit for making the call. Ok heres how it went:
American Apparel guy: (said in studied nonchalance, sideswept hair and skinny physique are apparent in voice as well) American Apparel Santa Monica.
Me: Uhh hi, yes. yes, hi. Umm. I recieved a shirt from your store for Christmas and I think theres something wrong with it.
Guy: Uhh, whats wrong with the shirt?
Me: It's plain.
Guy: Umm....
Me: Most of my shirts have kittens and balls of yarn on them. I find it highly disturbing that this shirt has no adornments at all
Guy: Well you can bring the shirt into the store....and i can draw pictures on it...
Me: Do you have any shirts with pictures of snowglobes or clusters of holly berries? You see, I am looking for items to update my winter wardrobe...
Guy: Why dont you bring the shirt into the store and we can decide what to do with it?
Me: I cant. I cant leave my kitties at home alone.
Guy: you can bring them with in a basket.
.....anyways....at this point i realize that the guy sounds really hot and that i am slowly falling in love with him. I ask him what his name is and he says some bizzare Hindu sounding thing and the rest of the night is spent searching for him (in vain) on myspace.
I miss him.