"ribz and baked beanz"

Saturday night Krista, Lisa and I met for dinner at Lazo's tacos ( next to, but not related to Arturos tacos) on Western and Armitage. Here we enjoyed a) the experience of salsa with basil instead of cilantro b) sugary green margaritas c) gurrl talk.

We made elaborate plans to follow up the grandeur of our dinner with a night out at Lava lounge for a cool kids party. We got back to my place and i got in bed and Krista and Lisa nestled up on the couch and painted nails.

The clock ticked.

No one wanted to move.

"Let us make prank phone calls" i suggest.

"But who shall we call?" the girls cried in bewilderment.

I cruise through the contacts in my phone. I come across the number for Mic Terror, Chicago rapping legend.

Of course, we must call him. I dial, pressing *67 first so my numbers comes up as private. The convo goes something like this:
MT: Hey-lo
Me: Yo wuddup boy
MT: nuthin, cheelin, wud about u?
Me: nuthin wut chu on tonight boy? cuz i want to be on you if you know what i mean.
...pause..
MT: uh sure we can arrange dat...
Me: I saw yo' music video, you rappin on that mic, and I was imagining me as that mic you was holding!
MT: Oh...where you stayin
Me:...106th....and...Michigan...in...china town...
MT: you say you stayin on 148th?
Me: yes. you comin?
MT: yeahhh ill be there.
Me: wut chu wurrin boy?
MT: uhh, shortz. black shirt. black and red cap.
Me: BOYY what chu be wurrin undaneath them shortz!
MT: Boxer briefs
Me: what color
MT: whyte.
Me: what laundry detergent do you use?
MT: I dont be knowin
Me: Where you at?
MT: AT my momz place ( sounds of children playing in background). Im just eatin here
Me: What you be eating?
MT: Ribz and Baked Beanz.


etc etc etc. It was incredible. I dont know how well i can capture the brilliance of the consversation without fully reenacting it in person.