O m to the GGggggggggg

Weekend was insane.

Ok. It started out like this.
Went to this bar Darkroom. Mic T performs ( I swear this is not a blog just dedicated to him, even though in my heart, it kinda is). GLC is there. GLC=a big, real life teddy bear. He is adorb. He comes right up to Lisa, Janie and I and squishes us all together and picks us up and gives us the most loving hug I have ever received. It was a beautiful moment.
Then Mic T. hollers from the stage " WILL THE KORN FAMILY PLEAZZE COME CLOSER". !!!!

Ok so the next night Lisa and I went to the Hard Rock Lolla after party. There we are, in the cab, re-enacting a scene from the bone collector. The cab driver has kidnapped us. I say in my sweetest voice, dripping with honey " sir, you're taking us to the Hard Rock hotel, not the Hard Rock cafe, right?".
Silence.
He says " ACTUALLY I AM. YES. I AM TAKING YOU THROUGH THE NORTH HEMPISHPERICAL UNIT SECTOR ROUTE VERSUS THE SOUTHERN PLANK blah blah blah blah blah ". He basically gave me the scientific theory for the route he was taking us. I bit my lips to keep from laughing, for fear that If I did, he would turn around and stab me and then use my body for fuel. Lisa laughed.

Ok so we get to the Hard Rock. Amazing. Free drinks all night. Love Vodka and Pomegranate and a drink called "The Diddy" (Lemonade and Vodka). However, drinking heavily may not be a good idea for Lisa. Lets just say her boss might have been there and she may or may not have made out with him. ANNNNNNNNNYWHOOOOOOoooooooooo....
SO Spank Rock and Amanda Blank perform which was lots of fun. Then MARK RONSON gets on and starts spinning. He was accompanied by his seeester Samantha Ronson and her girlfriend LINDSAY LOHAN. Woooooooo. She was exactrly how she looks in pictures. Leather leggings, baggy band t-shirt, flats, hair astrew. Mark Ronson played all the hits of yesteryear ("You Can't Hurry Love", "Build me up, Buttercup") and then "88" by the Cool Kids (!!!!!!!!!). That was a def. highlight.
Lowlight : Mark Ronson's adorable, chic, model girlfriend being there. Being alive at all for that matter....kidding....(?).



So then off to Underground where we danced with the likes of Fonzworth Bentley ( Fonzi!!), Don C. ( "we got that right one, that right one"), Kenna, Dj Mom Jeans, and oh yeah PATRICK SWAYZE!!! He was having a great time.
Then the shoes I was wearing ( wooden heels) literally starting attacking my feet. Pain, pain, pain.

Ok! So then on Sunday it was LOLLAPALOOZA! WOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! It was amazing. Once in a lifetime experience, fo sho. Started the day off with a performance from my favorite bitch, Kid Sister. Here's the thing with her. She is super nice and down to earth but like, get over it. She's like so approachable and personable. Therefore I hate her. Like she is so genuine. What a fucking bitch. My feelings for her are very up and down. Anyways, yeah her performance was great.
Then next up was Chromeo. I proposed to Dave from Chromzzz but he didn't hear me. He was a beauty in his swanky three piece suit. After Chromeo we had a little down time. This is what we did.
1. Sweat
2. Eat Acai Sorbet out an empty bag of chips.
3. Shower in mist at the misting stations.
4. Trend spot.
Speaking of trends, If i never see another pair of Shutter Shades again, I will be happy. There were the Lindsay Lohan/ Urban Outfitter chicks with high waisted shorts, gladiator sandals, fedoras, wayfarers and baggy t-shirts. There were the American Apparel types with the requisite 50/50 blend tanks and leggings. Lots of guys wearing fluorescent, upturned hats, backpacks, stupid bandanas around their necks, and multi-colored shorts. This was espeically apparent at the Franki Chan show.
Ok, I digress. Next up we saw Gnarls Barkley. After Gnarls Barkley was Kanye.
KANYE. KANYE. KANYE.
I have never seen anything like this. You realize how powerful something is when you know EVERY single word to EVERY song by heart. His performance was a spiritual experience. There you are, in this huge filled, packed with the bodies of over 100,000 people, all singing and dancing and screaming together.
Kanye was outrageous. Incredible. Lisa and I cried. We were sticky, and hungry and thirsty and tired and sweaty. But his performance literally pulled us out of our bodies. Words cannot even express how this performance was.
After his show, the entire festival filtered out onto Michigan Avenue where everyone was still buzzing from the shows. I have never seen so many people in one place in my entire life.
And yes, even though I think people are gross, and dirty, and stupid, it was amazing.