hhhhhhhhhaaaaaa

My mom had to fly to LA yesterday because we thought Ma was going to die.
She is in fact fine. Just old.
Anyways.
Ma is currently residing in a nursing home.
I asked my mom if Ma had a roomate.
My mom said " well, she did. But she died yesterday."
OMG, I said, did you meet her?
"Well yes," my mom explained " I met her briefly and then Ma and I went out and ran some errands and when we got back her bed was made and the nurse said she died".
"OMG!," I said "was Ma upset?!!"
"No, she wanted her to be moved out of the room anyways"

anyways...

My mom proceeded to unplug the deceased roomates cable and wire it into Ma's tv.
fast forward to later that evening when there is a knock at the door.
My mom opens it.
It is the roommate.
The dead roommate.
She is not dead.
She was on vacation. The nurse had been misinformed.
Ma is now very upset that she no longer has free cable.

"ribz and baked beanz"

Saturday night Krista, Lisa and I met for dinner at Lazo's tacos ( next to, but not related to Arturos tacos) on Western and Armitage. Here we enjoyed a) the experience of salsa with basil instead of cilantro b) sugary green margaritas c) gurrl talk.

We made elaborate plans to follow up the grandeur of our dinner with a night out at Lava lounge for a cool kids party. We got back to my place and i got in bed and Krista and Lisa nestled up on the couch and painted nails.

The clock ticked.

No one wanted to move.

"Let us make prank phone calls" i suggest.

"But who shall we call?" the girls cried in bewilderment.

I cruise through the contacts in my phone. I come across the number for Mic Terror, Chicago rapping legend.

Of course, we must call him. I dial, pressing *67 first so my numbers comes up as private. The convo goes something like this:
MT: Hey-lo
Me: Yo wuddup boy
MT: nuthin, cheelin, wud about u?
Me: nuthin wut chu on tonight boy? cuz i want to be on you if you know what i mean.
...pause..
MT: uh sure we can arrange dat...
Me: I saw yo' music video, you rappin on that mic, and I was imagining me as that mic you was holding!
MT: Oh...where you stayin
Me:...106th....and...Michigan...in...china town...
MT: you say you stayin on 148th?
Me: yes. you comin?
MT: yeahhh ill be there.
Me: wut chu wurrin boy?
MT: uhh, shortz. black shirt. black and red cap.
Me: BOYY what chu be wurrin undaneath them shortz!
MT: Boxer briefs
Me: what color
MT: whyte.
Me: what laundry detergent do you use?
MT: I dont be knowin
Me: Where you at?
MT: AT my momz place ( sounds of children playing in background). Im just eatin here
Me: What you be eating?
MT: Ribz and Baked Beanz.


etc etc etc. It was incredible. I dont know how well i can capture the brilliance of the consversation without fully reenacting it in person.

Both Sides Now

My best furrriend Matt sent me this when I was feeling really blah. It is one of the most beautiful things that anyone has ever said to me. I needed to immortalize it. Thanks Meowwt, lerve you gurrl.


"I think that little by little I'll be able to solve my problems and survive."

Frida Kahlo


"I paint self-portraits because I am so often alone, because I am the person I know best"

Frida Kahlo


Dear Susan,


After we got off the phone today i just wanted to start crying. Hearing you in such pain and sadness really has an effect on me. I feel like I should be up there helping you, comforting you, spending time with you. You are my best friend in the world; my soul mate, my air, and my food, i really could not survive without you.

You have such a strong impact on my life and It hurts hearing you hurt.


I dont want you to lose yourself. I want to remind you of what a beautiful, amazing, talented, funny, and brilliant person you are. Saying those things doesnt even begin to do justice.

Sometimes we lose ourselves because of our surroundings or relationships. Right now it seems you're going through a very confusing time.. it's like you're walking down this path that is made up of all these mean and selfish strangers and the fog is so thick and gray that you cant even see your own reflection.

There are things in this life that can bring us happiness. When we try to force things and people on ourselves we create volcanos. It's only a matter of time before they errupt and things get sticky.

Never find self worth in others. You are so independent and beautiful. You're not Atonement or Stepmom... you are Amelie. You are Margot at the Wedding, La Vie En Rose, Nanny McPhee, Ghostworld .... and would you want it any other way?

I think it's odd how some of the most beautiful people in the world dont realize it. I remember reading australian vogue about Natalie Imbruglia talking about how ugly and gross she felt or reading the Edie Sedgwick biography --- she was so INSECURE. "Always picking at her skin and trying to lose weight".

I can only tell you so many times how beautiful you are. Everyone around me always compliments you when they see your picture. People would kill to be you susan.

I really think you just need to start being selfish. START being SELFISH. FORGET what is around you. Use bottled water to clean the floors, be 10 minutes late to work because you needed to buy yourself a sunflower, rent movies you want to watch alone, find out what is going on at the museums and go by yourself with your ipod on (joni mitchell playing in the background).

GO to a jazz club by yourself. Dark dress. Red Lipstick.

Go to a poetry reading with a cup of Joe and a scarf around your neck.

Walk into Chanel like you are Coco.

Go grab a glass of champagne at the top of the Peninsula and watch the people walk by.


The only person that can make us happy is ourselves. We have to be selfish.

WHo is lisa? Who am I ? Who is Diana? There is no one else but you ... and if you find someone else who wants to share that with you, then maybe, just maybe you'll give them the pleasure.


I dont know why Im writing all of this. I hope youre not thinking im crazy. Im doing it because sometimes you need to water a flower.


I love you with all my heart. I wish you would start seeing what I see and what everyone else does. Stop hurting yourself by going out with fools with tattoos. Im so proud and grateful to be your friend. If someone isn't touched by your presence, dont give yourself away.


I love you .

Meowwtt.

"No one likes to have less than they had before. That's the nature of the human animal. "
Joni Mitchell

swerve n lean

It's so nice when pictures of someone you were majorly crushing on are published on facebook and then you realize they are really unnatractive and that the whole magical mystique about them has faded and maybe never existed in the first place.

Here We Go

Well
Here I am.
I have given in. Why fight the ineveitable.
It's time for me to have a blog.

Weather was beautiful today. I pulled a chair outside the door at work and read an Allure Magazine with Hilary Duff on the cover. It was definitley not worth the $3.50 I paid for it.
Bradley sat beside me, eating grilled chicken from the restaurant down the street favored by truck drivers and cabbies. I admire it for its rustic charm and honesty.
As Bradley was walking towards his bike to depart I commented that he needed to go tanning. This was especially apparent due to the brevity of his shorts ( measuring approx. 4 inches from waist band to bottom hem). He followed my advice and sped off to LA Tan. It's so satisfying when people listen to your advice with no questions asked.

I was extremely tired today due to last nights outing. 5 flutes of champagne with lychees at Rodan, then Innjoy and then stupid Evil Olive ( which incidentally has worlds WORST olives). I am so bored and jaded. I see the same people every time I go out. Nothing new. I mean, I'm seriously 22 years old, i shouldnt be so tired of being young already! I need a new scene! I think this is a sign that I need to move to a new city.

I did however meet this really cute guy. He was interesting because 1) I have never seen him out before 2) attractive 3) ugh im bored with this.

So I move into Lisa's apt in a couple of days, on May 1. This should be interesting. I mean, I have shared a room before with glowing results, so hopefully this will be ok. I look forward to sharing paper towel and coffee purchases. Also, I find it hard to finish an entire loaf of bread myself without it going moldy, so I feel this is an economically wise move. I figure with the extra money I am saving I can go to lollapalooza or Europe, or something else far off and romantic.

Yesterday I had the incredible experience of talking to both my parents ( who are divorced) at the same time on the phone. It was so nice. I am so excited to see them both. They are both going to be here for the same time for my graduation in May and yada yada yada, may have to share a hotel room. This is straight out of a sitcom.